Another week has come and gone. It is true what people told me how the days go by slow, but the weeks pass you by. I had my first bout of homesickness last weekend. Our teacher was talking about going to see the Avengers with his roommates and then he was going to have a Cinco de Mayo party with his friends. I couldn't help but let my mind wander off to what I'd be doing if I were home. Surely, Tara would be making an amazing meal and I would for sure be at the Alamo to see Avengers. It twinged my heart, and I really missed my life - for about 10 min - then I got slapped back into missionary land. There are a few things here that keep me connected, there is always The District, a missionary reality show if you will and it has become my Gossip Girl replacement. I can't wait to log on and see what happens next with Elder Murray and Sister Payne! Ahh the drama is so intense it leaves me hanging every time - is Jynx going to get baptized?! Is Eric going to quit smoking?! I won't know until next week.
Two of our Elders left this week for the Guatemala MTC. It has been quite sad, we really started to love those Elders even though they were complete space cadets. One of them made up this conjugate rap for us so we could appropriately conjugate all our verbs, but to a beat. It was pretty sweet and occasionally it plays in my head: voy, vas, va, vamos, van. You can't hear the beat, but I just did it for you and it was grand. The three week fever has hit the rest of the Elders and they have begun to have chair races down the hallway. They can't be stopped. And yet, when the time comes, their spirits are so strong. I love watching that juxtaposition. It's truly marvelous.
So, there is a lot of spirit floating around here. It's a crazy amount and it is really hard to get away from. We sing and pray ALL the time. I can't tell you how many times I've sung Called to Serve. But, it's great because you are hardly tempted with anything. The worst thing I could do is...well there is probably a long list so I wont go there. Don't worry I'm uber obedient. But, with all this spirit, there is always a lot of emotion and with four sisters in our district there are a lot of breakdowns. Last week, I had to deal with four of them. One night after quiet hours, I even had to call the Branch President and he had to come down here...that was a long night. I feel so bad for the sisters that are struggling. I can certainly feel the trials and stresses the MTC piles on and I'm grateful for the experience I've had in my life to allow me to handle it, but the rest of the time I'm just trying to help the other sisters. It is so hard. There is often nothing you can do but let them cry and just listen. This however, is the duty of the Coordinating Sister which I've been asked to be. Scott informed me it is not a real thing outside the MTC, but it is certainly extremely valuable here. It is my job to make sure all the sisters are doing alright, I represent all the sisters in my zone in meetings and with the Branch President and I'm accountable for them. It has kept me in many a meetings, but they have taught us good things about being loving leaders. It's also nice to make sure the female perspective is shared.
I'm still like a little child with Spanish, it's very difficult for me to literally not be able to express myself in discussions. We've been practicing speaking with pens in our mouths in hopes to 'loosen the tongue' so we can gain a better accent. For me, it's been a miracle. After I take that pen out of my mouth I can roll all the r's in the world and I don't sound so...gringo. However, my vocab is still greatly lacking. It's those times I have to remind myself that I've only been doing this for three weeks, and in actuality I'm not the worst...well at least I don't sound like a robot. The other day we had a Devotional and the speaker went on and on about the Olive Garden. I was quite perplexed, but then he said the waitress brought out the plain Olive Garden salad with a big smile and said, "isn't it beautiful" in a sweet Spanish accent. His remarks were directed to the manner in which she offered what she had. The salad was so so but the method was love, happiness and kindness and for that reason they keep going back. I've been thinking about this silly little analogy all week. My Spanish is terrible, I mean, it's bad - when you tell someone that "Joseph Smith translated the golden bananas" you are in for it, however, I keep my smile and I speak with love and hope in my eyes and for some reason, it works. It's not what I'm saying, if it was I'd ruin the Gospel for all, it's what I bring with it. Understanding this principle has really helped me this week to not feel discouraged and recognize that sharing God's love is all I need to do to reach people. A few days ago, in fact, while teaching a new investigator, I was bearing my broken testimony and I could fill the room being filled with love and the spirit and I knew that the investigator felt it too as I looked in his eyes and could see the love swelling within. No matter what I said, the love was felt. I'm so grateful for that. I can however pray and extend commitments in pretty good Spanish so I know things are getting better!
Sometimes I hear an iPhone ringing and I start to salivate. I don't love that. I can feel my 'old' life calling me from time to time. I certainly miss all my friends and my family. There is no way, however, that I could turn away from this wonderful experience. It has brought me so close to the Lord and as I can feel myself getting closer to the Lord the more I can see how distant I had become before. I'm truly grateful for the patience of the Lord to wait for His children to come to Him and when we do we begin to see how much love is really there. I am so glad I get to bring that knowledge to others and I pray they will feel it too through me. This work is certainly not without challenge. It's quite unique to anything I've ever experienced and I had no idea, nor do I think anyone could have prepared me for it. To be a missionary is to give of oneself completely. I sold my car, quit my job, left my beautiful apartment, my friends - everything, but what I didn't think about was giving up my entire self...any pride, weaknesses, fears - they all have to go. Understanding this now has given me even more gratitude for those who have done this before me and so much love for my brothers who are currently serving (and all my family that has). This sacrifice is challenging like no other, but I'm slowly learning and as I do, once again I can feel the impact of the Atonement and the spirit in my life even more. That is the true miracle of this Gospel and to that I attach my testament. God loves us all.
xoxo,
Hermana Hall
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